And now, as promised...

I've arrived at a new Improbable Life Goal, folks!

*waits for applause to die down, like they do on David Letterman or Ellen, shifting idly from one foot to the other, waving, pointing, and randomly saying 'hi' to people in the audience*

Thank you... Thank you...

*ahem*

Now, as I was saying. The last goal I added was back in... Like... Well I don't really remember, but it was some time ago. And although I have yet to earn any money as a back-up dancer, I was offered a full time contract with an aspiring singer/Mr. Beef.

So *rubs hands together* without further ado, my new ILG is...

... To attend a party at the Playboy Mansion.

Clarification: I do not want to be Heidi or Kendra or Bridget. I don't want to be a porn star. I will not dye my hair platinum blond. I have no interest in bunny costumes. I don't want to be in Playboy, nor do I want tassels on my nippy noodles.

What I want is to be fabulous enough to get all glammed up and rock it out at an all day party. What I want is to make it onto the guest list, to wander around the rooms, to meet the strange people, and to wonder what it would be like to live in an imaginary world full of silicone, money, and ridiculousness. Totally surreal, right? I mean, who lives like that?! Wouldn't you want to know what it's like, just for one day? Wouldn't you want to cross that off your list so you can say, "Yeah, I've been there. I did that. S'kay, but I muchas prefer le couch, stove popped popcorn, and free movies from the library..."

I'll keep you posted, you guys. When I'm invited, I'll get your help deciding on an appropriately slutty outfit. Ha!